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No one in their right mind stream lands after me, They'll have to go round again sure as can be, 'Cos I've found a way to get on to a carrier, Bugger the batsman, aim straight for the barrier. Red Leader shouts 'Bandits, in line astern, dive,' And I flick back the tit guard to make the guns live. But out of my wings there's a Rat-a-tat-tat', And Red Leader's last words are 'You stupid great twat. When the batsman said take-off I thought I knew how, I opened the throttle and pissed o'er the bow, But I wasn't airborne, so pity poor me, With a fucking great splash I came down in the sea. I flew a Mosquito and got myself lost, So I had to force-land to find out where I wast, But small field procedure is not very gut, With a wing loading 47 pounds per square foot.

Forming up on a popsie at Mers el Kebir, She veered off to port when I moved in too near, When I lined up behind her, she started to spin, But with opposite rudder I spun myself in. There's a bloke on our ship now that everyone knows, Where he gets his rings from Christ only knows, He stands on the bridge and he rants and he shouts, And he shouts about things he knows fuckall about. Now that I'm older I cannot complain, Because Goering's invented the pilotless plane, I sit in the crew room and zizz all the day, And this is the song that you'll not hear me say. The latest edition's the bold Buccaneer, Filled up with black boxes and Scimitar gear, But "never mind Kruschev, you're safe till the days, When the fucking great bastard is fitted with Speys".

Now if you fly Vixens you've got to be quick, 'Cos it climbs very fast when you pull back the stick. I fly for a living, and not just for fun, I'm not awfully anxious to hack down the Hun, And as for deck-landings at night in the dark, As I told Wings this morning, 'Fuck that for a lark.

Tail up down the flight deck to do an umbrella I remember too late to fine pitch the propellor, So I stamp on the wheel brakes and then get the shits, As the whole bloody issue goes arse over tits. When the batsman gives 'Lower' I always go higher, I drift off to starboard and prang my Seafire, The boys in the Goofers all think that I'm green, But I get my commission from Supermarine. I sat on the booster, awaiting the kick, Amusing myself by rotating the stick, Down went the green flag, the engine went 'Cough', 'Cor blimey' said Wings, 'He has tossed himself off. As 1 roar down the flight-deck in my Martlet Mark IV, Loud in my cars is the Cyclone's sweet roar, Chuff clank clink, chuff clank clink, chuff clink clink clink, Away wing on pom pom, away life in drink.

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