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If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. Since I left my husband Cjty have been unable to do a number of things -- the most frustrating lost skill is the ability to date. After nine years in a committed relationship, I have extreme difficulty navigating the nuanced dance that is dating. I have learned I can't be too direct, eager, needy, desperate, clingy, emotional, commitment pressuring, or baby daddy seeking. I also have to avoid looking cold, aloof, bitchy, mean, shallow, negative or distant.
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And of course I can't even talk about my ex, even if the past nine years of my life was living and working with him! Then there are the crazy games of when to text, email or call, when to answer immediately, when to act interested or disinterested and when to completely blow them off. As a person who is by nature very direct and to the point, dating is a mystery trapped in a puzzle, tucked in a fireproof safe thrown down a mineshaft. I just can't figure it out.
But the most distressing behavior is the casual sex hook-up mating habits that dominate New York City, a city that I adore and call my home. I am a committed relationship type of gal. I make no illusions to being anything but this, and I do not judge others with different lifestyles. If a polyamorous life of multiple lovers or a string of emotionally detached one-night stands with perfect strangers is satisfying to a person, then they should be doing exactly that. But I know there are others like me that aren't wired this way, and seek something with some level of greater commitment both emotionally and sexually. I have a myriad of friends who complain all the time: I have made failed attempts of hooking up with partners for something casual, but every time the results have been disastrous.
For the most part I am let down by an experience that was supposed to be fun, and which ends up making my life more complicated. I had one man who kept calling me for months, another who rudely told me about his other women -- and yes there is a polite way to handle this -- and yet another who had a mild breakdown in my apartment about how he couldn't handle the "gray area".
Go instead to a slightly more discreet New York skyscraper and get the panoramic views you've been itching for. DO NOT go when it is cloudy. DO NOT go when it is raining. Just don't waste your money. FREE Chinatown and Little Italy both make some people's first trip lists, and for good reason, they're pretty awesome. Chinatown is great for food obviously and more importantly to me, at least, shopping. I love hearing the random dudes whispering "Prada, Gucci, Chanel" as you walk down Canal Street only to whisk you away into a locked closet the size of an elevator stuffed full of all the fake purses you could ever want. Don't be afraid to follow strange men into locked closets.
That's my best advice. Little Italy is amazing in a different way, and mostly for the food.
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Most of the restaurants on Mulberry Street in Little Italy are owned by first or yogk generation Italian immigrants and are staffed by boys and girls fresh off the boat. You won't find Italian food better than this stateside. I find myself to be a bit of a Brooklyn snob these days, and no matter what the girls on SATC or Gossip Girl say, I will shout it on the rooftops that I'm proud to call Brooklyn home when I'm in the city. My favorite of such views is in Greenpoint just north of Williamsburg off Greenpoint Ave. Pick a street, any street. As long as it's West of central park and between 50th St.